I wonder if we call adoption beautiful too soon.
In the week following Easter I found myself parked in the Easter story…reading over again and again the Death, Burial, and Resurrection of Jesus. As the week went by, I meditated on what it would have been like to be Mary, the Mother of Jesus.
What must it have been like for her? The crucifixion…what must it have been like when Jesus, her son, hanging from the cross, spoke to her “Woman, behold, your son.” And in the next breath gave His disciple the role of caring for her when he was gone. (John 19:26-27)
He knew she would be grief stricken. He knew her care could not be left unspoken for. He knew she needed to belong.
On Good Friday, we remember the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross…we think, pray, ponder, and meditate on the crucifixion. The crucifixion of Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice done out of love, but the horror of the act and death…well, breathtakingly awful.
I don’t think we would ever call the crucifixion itself beautiful.
Done for the love of others, yes.
Breath taking, yes.
On “Good” Friday, we often leave a solemn church service quietly. We interestingly call it “good”, but only because we know the resurrection is coming…I’m quite certain when Jesus was hanging from the cross Mary didn’t look back and say “It’s a Good Friday.” Rather, she mourned. A lot of people mourned.
From Friday through Sunday, we prepare to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. We prepare for Glory. We prepare because we know. We know Jesus rose from the dead. We know death was defeated. We know Mary will one day be reunited with her son. We’ve experienced His presence, of the Holy Spirit, because of the cross; we know Sunday is coming.
We know the crucifixion had to happen for the beauty of the cross.
And in that lies our HOPE that every adoption tells a beautiful story. One of sacrifice by a mom and a dad, for the sake of a life they love. Hope remains.
But…with adoption it takes time for the beauty of the story to unfold. Knowing what we know now about the grief that every birth parent and adoptee endures, I think we can tend to call adoption beautiful too soon.
It’s easy to watch a new adoptive couple walk from the hospital with a new baby and praise the child’s birth parents for the selfless gift, and call it beautiful. And it might be. And hopefully, it will be.
But the reality is we don’t know…yet. We hope, because hope was chosen. Yet in those moments, Mary is still standing at the foot of the cross.
It is because of this brokenness that Choosing Hope Adoptions is committed to the long-term care of all involved in the adoption triad; The birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the child. It is in this care where we hope the beauty of adoption unfolds.