I wonder if we call adoption beautiful too soon.
In the week following Easter I found myself parked in the Easter story…reading over again and again the Death, Burial, and Resurrection of Jesus. As the week went by, I meditated on what it would have been like to be Mary, the Mother of Jesus.
What must it have been like for her? The crucifixion…what must it have been like when Jesus, her son, hanging from the cross, spoke to her “Woman, behold, your son.” And in the next breath gave His disciple the role of caring for her when he was gone. (John 19:26-27)
He knew she would be grief stricken. He knew her care could not be left unspoken for. He knew she needed to belong.
On Good Friday, we remember the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross…we think, pray, ponder, and meditate on the crucifixion. The crucifixion of Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice done out of love, but the horror of the act and death…well, breathtakingly awful.
I don’t think we would ever call the crucifixion itself beautiful.
Done for the love of others, yes.
Breath taking, yes.
On “Good” Friday, we often leave a solemn church service quietly. We interestingly call it “good”, but only because we know the resurrection is coming…I’m quite certain when Jesus was hanging from the cross Mary didn’t look back and say “It’s a Good Friday.” Rather, she mourned. A lot of people mourned.
From Friday through Sunday, we prepare to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. We prepare for Glory. We prepare because we know. We know Jesus rose from the dead. We know death was defeated. We know Mary will one day be reunited with her son. We’ve experienced His presence, of the Holy Spirit, because of the cross; we know Sunday is coming.
We know the crucifixion had to happen for the beauty of the cross.
And in that lies our HOPE that every adoption tells a beautiful story. One of sacrifice by a mom and a dad, for the sake of a life they love. Hope remains.
But…with adoption it takes time for the beauty of the story to unfold. Knowing what we know now about the grief that every birth parent and adoptee endures, I think we can tend to call adoption beautiful too soon.
It’s easy to watch a new adoptive couple walk from the hospital with a new baby and praise the child’s birth parents for the selfless gift, and call it beautiful. And it might be. And hopefully, it will be.
But the reality is we don’t know…yet. We hope, because hope was chosen. Yet in those moments, Mary is still standing at the foot of the cross.
It is because of this brokenness that Choosing Hope Adoptions is committed to the long-term care of all involved in the adoption triad; The birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the child. It is in this care where we hope the beauty of adoption unfolds.
Photo: “Drake Motel” by Sam Howzit is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
Yesterday morning news broke out across our city that a 6-week old baby had been found dead at a local motel.
This news is a tragedy. It’s a tragedy that a baby died. It’s a tragedy that the baby’s parents were so embedded in crisis, that reaching out for help eluded them. While it might seem that anger towards the parents is where energy is best spent, the reality is they are broken, hurting people. Hurting more today than yesterday. Hurting people hurt people. It’s a messy reality. This is a tragedy.
When our staff hear stories like this, a child’s life lost, we grieve. We often toss around “what if” scenarios. Wondering, had these parents known they had the option to make an adoption plan for their child, outside of CPS and the foster care system, would this child’s life have been saved. Wishing we just had the opportunity to speak hope into their lives, to love them, to encourage them, to come alongside them and connect them to resources and care.
What if we just had the chance to talk over a cup of coffee? Would we be telling a different story today? Our efforts to love them may not have been welcomed…but they might have.
The Adoption Option…the option to make an adoption plan. The option for birth parents to CHOOSE a family for their child(ren), outside of the state foster care system and CPS, needs to become front and center. The option to tell a better story, to react out of the love birth parents have for their child(ren), even amidst crisis.
Choosing Hope Adoptions is licensed to place Ohio born children ages newborn through 6 years old into home study approved adoptive families. We come alongside the expectant and birth families to help them make a plan for their child(ren).
It is our deepest desire that every parent facing an untimely pregnancy would know they have the option of making an adoption plan for their baby. It is our hope that every parent facing losing their child(ren) to the foster system would know they have an option…that they have the RIGHT, to make an adoption plan for their child(ren). That they can choose a family for their child, that they can have an ongoing open adoption, that their child will always know their birth parents loved them so much that they chose a life filled with hope for them.
Whether or not birth parents choose to parent or make an adoption plan for their child, that child always remains in their LEGACY.
What if the parents of the baby that died yesterday had known about The Adoption Option?
This past week I have found myself on rabbit trail researching the roots of our city, Springfield, Ohio, being called “Home City”. For a brief period of time we had considered naming the agency “Home City Adoptions”, instead of “Choosing Hope Adoptions”, but felt “Home City” spoke to the history of a city known for orphans rather than a word of Hope over our great city and state.
Home City, Ohio, USA otherwise known as Springfield, Ohio, USA
While the details are many surrounding the history of the name “Home City”, it boils down to this:
“At the turn of the century Springfield became known as “Home City”. Several lodges, including the Masonic Lodge, Knights of Pythians and Odd Fellows built homes for orphans and aged members of their order.” Source:http://www.springfieldohiohistory.net/historyofspringfield.htm
Home, City, Ohio, USA…..Springfield, OH was known for its housing for Orphans and Widows. We were a catalyst, of sorts. A city that cared for, made a plan for, and made infant steps towards living out the demands of James 1:27, caring for the Orphan and the Widow. What if the name “Home City” was actually a prophetic declaration of Springfield’s ‘genetic code?”
Several months ago we were give a vision of what is to come for Choosing Hope Adoptions. This brother in Christ saw “The Spirit of Adoption SPRINGforth from Springfield, Ohio. They saw a tent (kind of like a home) pitched over our city, anchored in the love and hope birthed from Choosing Hope Adoptions. A place of rest, reprieve, LIFE, hope, and love. But as their birds-eye-view came into focus, they saw the stakes of the tent being moved and stretched…over the Miami Valley, over Ohio, over the Tri-state area, and finally a tent that reached across our great nation.
What if Home City, Ohio, USA is the catalyst for the Spirit of Adoption to overwhelm our nation? Where the orphan spirit succumbs and LIFE and HOPE eternal is breathed in deep.
Today, as these thoughts bounced around in my head I found myself snapping pictures of three magnificient homes for sale, within blocks of each other, in our city. What if these properties could be home to parents facing an untimely pregnancy and making an adoption plan for their coming baby? What if Springfield, Ohio, USA could be known as a city of hope and life instead of for its orphan history? What if it was “Home City”, not because of its orphan population, but because orphans found homes?